Sometimes I just can not stop the anger.
Even though I choose to end the marriage it still hurts like hell because is it the truth……is it true that I chose?
No I did not choose. We chose, he chose….we both chose every single minute of every single day that we could not see each other, hear each other and feel each other. The repercussions suck! Two years later it still is a sucky , shitty, reality. Even though we have made it pretty good and relatively stable……….it is not what we wanted for our family.
This was not my dream and I am tired of trying to recreate new. This is supposed to be the time for our kids…..not our time for new life, love and relationships. Same time it is not healthy to live for them. They will have to see us in healthy relationships eventually.
Today I can not stop….today I am angry. Today anger grabbed me by the throat and I transmitted it everywhere and worse…to him…their dad…the thing I want least to do.