This is how it would be if I could have my way. Two people who lived a long life and raised beautiful boys cooperating and coming together as needed in a new way. The new chapter of Friendship.
I referred to an incident in my last post……….I am hoping that life moving forward can be how it was in the moments and days of cooperation that followed. I glimpsed it and in glimpsing a new reality I will have hope for peace.
I first got a text “Do you have a dentist ~ I need a dentist?” and so, then I called him which is my new thing because texting is often longer and creates confusion. He explains he has a tooth ache and I chose to be supportive and offered to set up an appointment. I know him well…he needed a dentist month ago, if he is calling me about this now and so an appointment was made for the following day and we all carried on.
That night while I was on my night shift working I got another text “Where is the first aid kit?” and again I pulled over and called him. I was met with the voice of a man in extreme pain and panic. I was met with the man I was with for 20 years who found it impossibly difficult to communicate directly especially in a time of need. I have never been patient about this characteristic of his but I knew this was not a time for life lessons and so I quickly offered to come up to the house with pain relief after a quick stop to the pharmacy. His quick acceptance was indicative of his extreme situation and so I moved quickly. I got some advice and some better pain relief medication and arrived to find him writhing in pain. The man I know that would throw up in the morning from a stomach flu and still go to the construction site and put in a full day was on his side, sweating and I am pretty sure some tears were mixed in with the perspiration on his face. It was sad and scary and I was so deeply sorry for him. I gave him what I had…the kids scrambled around helping and he calmed enough to get through another night. I also rubbed his hands and his arms and it was a strange feeling showing that nurture. I had not touched him in years…certainly not in such a nurturing way and it felt……….real, kind, natural and loving YET peculiar and powerful and not entirely safe. I am not sure if I can explain it but it was powerful. Touch is such a powerful thing. I couldn’t stay long….I had work left to do but I tucked him in and drove away and felt really good about life. This is how it would be if I could have my way. Two people who lived a long life and raised beautiful boys cooperating and coming together as needed in a new way. The new chapter of Friendship.
I am editing…this was written a while ago. I just deleted a couple of paragraphs about the nice next day of soup and support but then the backlash and old patterns that followed and triggered my recent round of “anger. woe” posts. BECAUSE we seem to have landed at or at least are finding our way to the new chapter of Friendship and I think I will focus on that.
Reality is important in healing….expressing “what is”…. is also important in healing AND so is writing a new story and playing out the rest of your life/ moving forward.
Dancing. Dancing. Dancing.
always with LOVE