After They Go Home

I hate wanting love. I hate wanting the connection and intimacy especially when it’s not there or not in depth as how I am. I hate the dating and the peacocking… I just want to be real. And I feel it after they go home. After all the hustle and bustle at first is calm, relaxed and trusting but then this kind of longing hits me. I want that comfort and care but it has not happened. It seems to NOT work out.

It’s as though the universe has something else in mind for me and I don’t know what that could be. And so I tell myself again all the good things.

You are strong, kind, beautiful and bright. You are a good momma and that is a BIG kind of love that you are so lucky to know in this lifetime. You never say die darling and surely that is something special. If there are no lovely men left in this world to see this then you shall walk alone. It is okay. I love you.

It is hardest after they go home. I did not leave my marriage for wild attention but rather better balanced and healthy love. It is harder out here than I thought it would be but I know this has been necessary for me.

Let Go, Be Love

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