I wrote my original About Page in 2015. I have always been a writer but I was very acutely writing my way through an ending AND my about page said only that about me.
It had been on my mind for a while now to write an About Page that reflected ALL of who I am and what I am aspiring to create. Several drafts were discarded and then finally it came falling down on the page with minor editing later. The photos and layout needs some prettying up but I am quite happy with it. It is long but I really hope you will read it. It feels important to me, more than anything I have written in a long time.
This Blog is about living in the world One foot dreaming and the other foot in reality. She was trying to find a way to Be, that supported her soul that wanted to speak and find a sweeter way, while also functioning and being present to the tasks at hand in the real world.
This blog is about Love, Lovers, Friends, Self Love and the way we must grow so much if we choose to live a rich life. People amaze me, impress me and surprise me but the greatest lesson I have learned is that nothing happens that we don’t learn from. Every interaction is full of gifts even the endings, disappointments and betrayal.
This blog is about the End Of A Marriage and the journeying forward and letting go, Plus allowing new life and new understanding to take form. Where it once was primarily about the pain of that ending, it is becoming more and more about the Now and the in betweens. The end of my marriage is no longer a compass in which I revolve around. A lot of life has come and gone but that story has its place and it is how this blog was born.
This Blog is about magic and vision and voice – she had to find hers and you will notice that she could not decide if she was “I” or “She” or “Me” but hopefully nobody would care. All she knew for sure is that she only felt free, and truly alive when she was writing AND saying “too much”, “too raw”, & “too real”. So much was in her that needed to come out. She had come to understand that expression was her gift.
In the Real world she had lived many places, played many parts, had unusual jobs, met unusual and usual people AND she had always learned lessons. She loved nothing more than to FEEL everything and as much as that was hard at times it was who she was. Perhaps she had songs in her heart, that she could not keep inside. It felt like that sometimes, that she would explode if she didn’t say the thing she wanted to say.
In the Real world nothing was more important to her than her four children and how the challenge of raising them tore her down to her most Raw only to build her up to her most powerful. Knowing they were watching her inspired her to be more of vibrancy and more of her god given gifts. She knew life should be embraced and lived to its fullest.
In the Real world it was important to her to be healthy, strong, soft, sweet and stable, working hard and showing up for herself, her loves, and her children AND doing so required introspection. People would tell her to smile more and “be happy” but they didn’t understand that she was so happy simply to be in her thoughts dreaming and growing. Those that understood would see all her sides and she was very fun to be around long as she had her time to be in her wisdom and deeper thoughts.
In the Real world she did not think anybody was particularly wise nor did she believe that she had all of the answers for herself. She believed it was a forever journey of uncovering and that each one of us had a reservoir of light, love and good if only we could be quiet enough to hear it and then brave enough to live it and take chances.
In the Real world she was often sad, petty, shallow, jealous, insecure, tired, lonely and so all of the things that make a human. She lashed back, threw up walls, fell to her knees and thrashed around ridiculously. But she had learned to love herself and forgive herself anyways. She wanted everybody to do the same – while becoming a better person she knew she must also embrace and accept humanity.
She tried to organize the Blog. She thought about categories and order. One day she would clean it up but for now she had to write and not be concerned. Perhaps it is a great metaphor for living ~ don’t fuss about the details, just do it. Life is an amazing thing when you go into it.
She (me, I, her) would allow her Blog to flow and move and morph and be created. She hoped you would enjoy, and no matter what She was so happy to be here.
Let Go, Be Love